Christmas Day was fine. I can't quite say it was fun because it was too hectic, but it was OK. There was little sadness. Em, Judy, Tony & Brianna were here. Well, Em got here about 1 PM, having already done Christmas at her maternal grandparents. She was pretty much Christmased out so I opened up most of her presents. She glomed onto three things she loved and the rest will be here when she wants them.
Christmas night, Tony, Bri & I played Scattergories. It was fun! It's been years since I've played a board game with Tony.
Tony & Bri left about noon the day after Christmas, after helping shovel the newly-fallen snow. And when they left, I crashed. The day after Christmas can be a down day anyway, but this year it was worse, as could be expected. It hit me that Ron is not here; that all the work to settle the estate did not vanish over the holiday; and that there is still three months of winter left.
Today - Sunday - I am feeling much better. The sun is out, I snipped the tree apart, as Ron did, and removed the stalk that was left. What a great way to remove a real tree without making a mess through the house. I am now taking a break from cleaning up the usual disarray that follows Christmas.
Tony and Bri are getting married August 6. ::BIG SIGH:: I really can't get into it. Come spring, maybe.
Need to return to cleaning.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Eve
I'm alone tonight and it's fine with me. Tony is working his usual second shift. Tomorrow will be the day when family comes.
Tonight, though, it's just me and my thoughts of Ron. Ron and I had three Christmases together, only two of them as a married couple. We didn't have time to establish customs so for me Christmas is not a time of more sorrow than a week or a month ago.
I missed Ron last week, I miss Ron today, I'll miss Ron next week.
There have been so many changes in my life -- as in anybody's life -- that it truly does not bother me to be alone tonight. If I could make yet another change, it would be to have Ron here, doing what we do in the evening, but that's not going to happen so being with myself is the next best thing.
Tomorrow Tony, Brianna, Judy and Ember will be here. Because of the transition state of the house, I'm not doing a typical sit down turkey dinner (another change in my life). I didn't get out the Christmas dishes. There are no special tablecloths or napkins. There will be no set time to eat. I will have two casseroles, pepperoni bread, salad, finger foods, and nice rolls and people can eat what they want when they want.
I over bought this year big time. I had the money and spent it. Next year will be different. I may still have the money, but I will be more conservative because I can't continue to spend as if the money will never run out.
So Merry Christmas to us all. Life could be better but it could also be worse. I am a lucky person to have as my granddaughter the lovely child who appears at the top of this post.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
What I Do
I started this blog almost two years for myself as a way to track what I do every day. Obviously I haven't done much tracking at all, let alone daily. So for today I am blogging what I have done and what I will do.
Up at 6:30; had coffee; checked email; wrote to a couple of friends; posted to Facebook; played a couple of farm games on Facebook.
Showered, did hair but no make up 'cause it is only Greenville! LOL Dressed; stripped and remade bed; put Em's clothes away in an empty drawer in Ron's dresser.
Fed outdoor cats; played with and petted Penny-the-Cat who is missing Clunker (who is away for the weekend with Tony).
8:45: Got the car out; emptied garbage; got paper from road; went to Dollar General (not open); went to Just a Buck (not open); went to post office (open!); back to Just a Buck and shopped for a few minutes; went to grocery store and spent over $30 on groceries.
9:30: Back home and brought mail and purchases into the house; put car away; filled the two bird feeders; filled the garbage can where I keep the supply of bird seed with 25# of sunflower seeds; tossed empty seed sacks in garbage.
Put groceries away. Ate a bowl of cheerios. Did shoulder exercises/stretches. Started to make an apple cake: peeled apples, pre-heated oven, measured dry ingredients, mixed butter with sugar, added flour and then other dry ingredients and vanilla, added apples and walnuts and filled pan.
While doing the cake watched and listened to a TLC show about house flipping.
Washed dishes dirtied from cake making; took apart stove top and cleaned everything; cleaned Advantium stove exterior; cleaned refrigerator exterior; cleaned dish washer exterior.
Emptied two bottom shelves in the bathroom and then.....
Took a break by: going on line to check bank balances; checked email; checked Facebook; responded to a comment on FB; played FarmTown. Played a couple of games on Pogo.
(And of course, in between I'm blogging 'cause I can't do much without writing it down or I forget.)
Heated up left over mac & cheese for lunch; took apple cake from oven and after cooling, put it on a plate; cleaned bathroom shelves; sorted, tossed and put back all the stuff; cleaned out the medicine cabinet, rearranging items for maximum efficiency.
Cleaned oven -- OOPS.. lol.. cleaning means pressing two buttons on the oven controls.
1:30 to 2:30 PM: Spaced out on the couch with a book, the TV and some napping. I was tired, cranky and missing Ron so much that I got crying.
2:30: Cooked glaze for apple cake and drizzled it on. A time-consuming task 'cause it has to be done slowly. Did more dishes. Then I started wrapping presents. Lord I've got a lot of presents and I'm no where near done.
4:30: Picked up mess from wrapping and called girlfriend for a good chat that lasted an hour.
5:30: Pretty much my day is done. Time to think of something for supper (toast and cereal soudns good), and then relax, if it's possible, for the rest of the evening.
Up at 6:30; had coffee; checked email; wrote to a couple of friends; posted to Facebook; played a couple of farm games on Facebook.
Showered, did hair but no make up 'cause it is only Greenville! LOL Dressed; stripped and remade bed; put Em's clothes away in an empty drawer in Ron's dresser.
Fed outdoor cats; played with and petted Penny-the-Cat who is missing Clunker (who is away for the weekend with Tony).
8:45: Got the car out; emptied garbage; got paper from road; went to Dollar General (not open); went to Just a Buck (not open); went to post office (open!); back to Just a Buck and shopped for a few minutes; went to grocery store and spent over $30 on groceries.
9:30: Back home and brought mail and purchases into the house; put car away; filled the two bird feeders; filled the garbage can where I keep the supply of bird seed with 25# of sunflower seeds; tossed empty seed sacks in garbage.
Put groceries away. Ate a bowl of cheerios. Did shoulder exercises/stretches. Started to make an apple cake: peeled apples, pre-heated oven, measured dry ingredients, mixed butter with sugar, added flour and then other dry ingredients and vanilla, added apples and walnuts and filled pan.
While doing the cake watched and listened to a TLC show about house flipping.
Washed dishes dirtied from cake making; took apart stove top and cleaned everything; cleaned Advantium stove exterior; cleaned refrigerator exterior; cleaned dish washer exterior.
Emptied two bottom shelves in the bathroom and then.....
Took a break by: going on line to check bank balances; checked email; checked Facebook; responded to a comment on FB; played FarmTown. Played a couple of games on Pogo.
(And of course, in between I'm blogging 'cause I can't do much without writing it down or I forget.)
Heated up left over mac & cheese for lunch; took apple cake from oven and after cooling, put it on a plate; cleaned bathroom shelves; sorted, tossed and put back all the stuff; cleaned out the medicine cabinet, rearranging items for maximum efficiency.
Cleaned oven -- OOPS.. lol.. cleaning means pressing two buttons on the oven controls.
1:30 to 2:30 PM: Spaced out on the couch with a book, the TV and some napping. I was tired, cranky and missing Ron so much that I got crying.
2:30: Cooked glaze for apple cake and drizzled it on. A time-consuming task 'cause it has to be done slowly. Did more dishes. Then I started wrapping presents. Lord I've got a lot of presents and I'm no where near done.
4:30: Picked up mess from wrapping and called girlfriend for a good chat that lasted an hour.
5:30: Pretty much my day is done. Time to think of something for supper (toast and cereal soudns good), and then relax, if it's possible, for the rest of the evening.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Snow, Holidays, Life in General
Life has been busy as usual. It seems I start off many of my posts like that. Oh well....
Thanksgiving was a good day. The plan to meet family at Turning Stone in Central New York was a great one. The food was as good as home made; there was some entertainment; I had fun losing $40 in the slots. I followed that up with a visit to Maureen's house, leaving early Sunday morning.
The accountant FINALLY came through with the corporate taxes. I am so relieved and just hope there is no problem with them.
Tony is engaged!!! On Sunday he got down on one knees in front of Brianna and her entire family and asked her to marry him. It was a formality because they are already planning the wedding, but she didn't have the ring until Sunday. I'm happy for them. She's a lovely woman and it is what it is. I can't worry about things that I formerly might have worried about.
Ember has pink eye. It was diagnosed today. Oh joy. LOL She's been a sweetheart. This is a golden age. She's 3-3/4 years old and is total love and fun. A couple of weeks ago she got her hair cut. I think she looks cuter than ever and much older.
Em did 8 weeks of Soccer Tots and on January 4th, will move up 2 levels because of her age and overall maturity. She listens well, follows directions with no problem, and can easily do the simple things she was taught at the beginning level.
It's been over 4 months since Ron died. It's easier than it was but I never stop missing him and wishing he were here. Today has been particularly filled with missing him because we had 7" of snow and there were problems plowing the driveway. The man to whom I gave Ron's plow truck in exchange for plowing the driveway got the truck stuck back by the pole barn. I had to call Ron's nephew to finish the plow job. Ron, of course, would have done the job in his fashion: slow but very thorough. It's not going to be done nearly as thoroughly ever again. I hope that next year at this time I'm living back up where I came from with a normal driveway - not one that is close to 400' in total.
Yesterday I bought a Christmas tree and Tony helped me carry it in. It's up with lights on waiting for Miss Em to come tomorrow and help me decorate it. This will take a lot of patience on my part because we all know that little ones don't decorate the way adults like it done! LOL
I ache all over from shoveling. I took it slow, bending my legs and lifting with them rather than my back, but I'm not used to using my arms, shoulder and leg muscles like that.
Weather - Well, it snowed! It's warming up and melting, but all that means is when it goes below 32 degrees tonight, it will all freeze.
Gas prices - They're about $2.83 in town and $2.71 in Glenmont.
Exercise - I've done no formal exercise. That about sums it up.
Random thoughts - I miss Ron all the time. It's a constant steady ache without the extreme intensity I've had in the past. I still cry at odd moments. I can't go through his closet yet. I got something out of it this morning and immediately closed the door. I cannot believe I won't ever see my Ron again.
Thanksgiving was a good day. The plan to meet family at Turning Stone in Central New York was a great one. The food was as good as home made; there was some entertainment; I had fun losing $40 in the slots. I followed that up with a visit to Maureen's house, leaving early Sunday morning.
The accountant FINALLY came through with the corporate taxes. I am so relieved and just hope there is no problem with them.
Tony is engaged!!! On Sunday he got down on one knees in front of Brianna and her entire family and asked her to marry him. It was a formality because they are already planning the wedding, but she didn't have the ring until Sunday. I'm happy for them. She's a lovely woman and it is what it is. I can't worry about things that I formerly might have worried about.
Ember has pink eye. It was diagnosed today. Oh joy. LOL She's been a sweetheart. This is a golden age. She's 3-3/4 years old and is total love and fun. A couple of weeks ago she got her hair cut. I think she looks cuter than ever and much older.
Em did 8 weeks of Soccer Tots and on January 4th, will move up 2 levels because of her age and overall maturity. She listens well, follows directions with no problem, and can easily do the simple things she was taught at the beginning level.
It's been over 4 months since Ron died. It's easier than it was but I never stop missing him and wishing he were here. Today has been particularly filled with missing him because we had 7" of snow and there were problems plowing the driveway. The man to whom I gave Ron's plow truck in exchange for plowing the driveway got the truck stuck back by the pole barn. I had to call Ron's nephew to finish the plow job. Ron, of course, would have done the job in his fashion: slow but very thorough. It's not going to be done nearly as thoroughly ever again. I hope that next year at this time I'm living back up where I came from with a normal driveway - not one that is close to 400' in total.
Yesterday I bought a Christmas tree and Tony helped me carry it in. It's up with lights on waiting for Miss Em to come tomorrow and help me decorate it. This will take a lot of patience on my part because we all know that little ones don't decorate the way adults like it done! LOL
I ache all over from shoveling. I took it slow, bending my legs and lifting with them rather than my back, but I'm not used to using my arms, shoulder and leg muscles like that.
Weather - Well, it snowed! It's warming up and melting, but all that means is when it goes below 32 degrees tonight, it will all freeze.
Gas prices - They're about $2.83 in town and $2.71 in Glenmont.
Exercise - I've done no formal exercise. That about sums it up.
Random thoughts - I miss Ron all the time. It's a constant steady ache without the extreme intensity I've had in the past. I still cry at odd moments. I can't go through his closet yet. I got something out of it this morning and immediately closed the door. I cannot believe I won't ever see my Ron again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
