Christmas Eve

I'm alone tonight and it's fine with me. Tony is working his usual second shift. Tomorrow will be the day when family comes.

Tonight, though, it's just me and my thoughts of Ron. Ron and I had three Christmases together, only two of them as a married couple. We didn't have time to establish customs so for me Christmas is not a time of more sorrow than a week or a month ago.

I missed Ron last week, I miss Ron today, I'll miss Ron next week.

There have been so many changes in my life -- as in anybody's life -- that it truly does not bother me to be alone tonight. If I could make yet another change, it would be to have Ron here, doing what we do in the evening, but that's not going to happen so being with myself is the next best thing.

Tomorrow Tony, Brianna, Judy and Ember will be here. Because of the transition state of the house, I'm not doing a typical sit down turkey dinner (another change in my life). I didn't get out the Christmas dishes. There are no special tablecloths or napkins. There will be no set time to eat. I will have two casseroles, pepperoni bread, salad, finger foods, and nice rolls and people can eat what they want when they want.

I over bought this year big time. I had the money and spent it. Next year will be different. I may still have the money, but I will be more conservative because I can't continue to spend as if the money will never run out.

So Merry Christmas to us all. Life could be better but it could also be worse. I am a lucky person to have as my granddaughter the lovely child who appears at the top of this post.