Bits and Pieces

Ron's fatigue from the chemo leaves him unable to do most chores. He's so tired that he's not even working on his hobbies, the latest of which is checkering and carving gun stocks. Just about all the chores of keeping the household going are mine now. It's fine.... no big deal... but it's made it apparent how much I had come to like having someone with with whom to share maintaining a house.

It's also become very clear to me that I don't have the energy or stamina to work continuously as I could just a few years ago. I do some now, some later, some tomorrow and don't beat myself up that it's not all done at once.

Ron's schedule is much like that of a baby. He sleeps for 2-3 hours; is awake for 2-3 hours; then sleeps again.

He's losing weight. For the first time I'm very worried about the near-term outcome. His appetite is good. He's still eating his cookies and snacks as well as meals. He's eating smaller meals, but not small enough to account for a 7-pound weight loss in just a few days. His arms and legs are thin looking. His stomach has flattened. He's just not robust looking any more to me. He looks sickly. He's very white, part of the cause which could be from not being out in the sun as he normally would. I'm hoping that all this is due to the chemo drugs because the only other "choice" of cause is the cancer spreading.

The house is quiet. The TV is not often blaring because Ron is sleeping so much. I like not having the TV on but I'd gladly take the sound if he meant he wasn't ill.

We eat at odd times, or Ron eats at odd times. By the time he's ready to have breakfast, which thankfully he still makes himself -- and it can take him an hour after getting out of bed to be starting breakfast -- it's after 10 AM. It can take him half an hour to make breakfast -- an amount of time it's always been because he is a slow mover. So he's eating breakfast around 10:30; lunch around 2:30 or 3; and supper at 7 or 8 PM. By 8 PM, I've already eaten and am ready to call it a day.

I miss my husband, and I wonder if he'll ever be back.

Weather - We've had a couple of nice days. Today especially was almost picture perfect. The temp reached high 70s; the sky was bright blue; and fluffy white clouds occasionally wandered through.

Random thoughts - I'd love to get a wooden play ground/swing set for Ember in our back yard. I'm not a big fan of Wal-Mart but I bought a fantastic pair of sandals there last week. The brand name is Earth Spirit and the shoes are sooooo comfortable. The check WAS in the mail and is safely deposited. Laptop computer here I come.